Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit

Today was a FUN day.  I mean more fun than a lost dog in a meat market! I have no pictures to show for it, but that’s because I was having too much fun to remember to take them.  The temps in our area hovered around 90 degrees – - the first and only time I can ever remember that happening in April.  It was a day right out of a Joe Cocker song…”walking on a sidewalk hotter than a match head.” But did we care? No. We were playing in the “big city” today with friends and leaving our cares behind.

First stop…food.  A place called Barley’s which is famous for its beer and pizza.  Weirdly enough, I don’t care much for either, but the spinach salad was so good it made you want to swallow your tongue afterward just to get the last bit of juice off your taste buds. 

Second stop…Mast General store.  If you don’t live in North Carolina, then you don’t know about Mast General, which is as sad as a mule with a mouth full of bumblebees.  Mast General is just about my favorite place in the world to shop.  Each one is set up like an old general store – - right down to the barrels of old-fashioned candy that you purchase by the pound.  They sell everything from woven baskets to hiking boots and I could basically bookpitch my tent there and take up residence.

Third stop…the bookstore…where I purchased the book that inspired this blog post.  The one that has given rise to the terrific sayings (seen here in italic) that can only be homespun here in the south.  All I can say is that if you were to head over to Amazon and purchase your own copy, you’d be smarter than a tree full of owls.

Final stop…the chocolate lounge!!!   The part of the day I had looked forward to most. AND the place where I learned the most valuable lesson of all…teenage boys can never appreciate the finer things in life.  When three relatively sane boys scrunch their nose up in disgust over a wine glass full of sipping chocolate, you know that bringing them there was about as smart as trying to sling a hammock between two corn stalks.  We moms are already planning our next visit – - sans neanderthals.

It was a glorious summer-like spring outing in the city, and I hated to call it a day, but I guess (((sigh))) sometimes you simply have to pee on the fire and call in the dogs.

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14 Responses

  1. Mast General was a highlight for me when we were in Asheville a few years ago. We got a shirt there for my son that I loved and it disappeared after a few months. Gone. Now I understand that socks disappear but shirts? And we have even moved since and still we didn’t find the shirt.
    Please explain about the “sipping chocolate” in wine glasses. It has always had me curious when I read about drinking chocolate in Victorian times. I guessed it was basically hot chocolate, but now you are talking about wine glasses, so I am doubly confused.

  2. Sipping chocolate? Seriously? It’s chocolate and you drink it I assume. What’s not to like?

  3. Best way I know to describe sipping chocolate is like a dark chocolate mousse, only in slightly more liquid form. Or, I guess I could just describe it as Nirvana. Potato/Po-tah-to….and Melissa, if you are in WNC again in the near future, you MUST let me know!!!!

  4. We all need a day like thisand I enjoyed just hearing about it. Glad you got to have it. . . and share it.

  5. Sounds like your day was better than a sharp stick in the eye, by a longshot!
    Our 90-degree day will be arriving tomorrow, and I am as confused as a hornet in an anthill as to where our warm-weather clothes are…
    not nearly as good as the sayings in your book, but that’s because I don’t have it – yet. :-)

  6. Oh my goodness… I laughed my butt off… :) I love these crazy southern sayings… my husband always says – “Can’t dance, and it’s too windy to haul rock.” I am thinking… wwhhhattt?? Thanks for the laugh!

  7. Oh, I just love Mast General Store, especially the one in Valle Crucis. The Candy Barrel certainly doesn’t hurt.

    • Angela – - the one in VC is truly delightful!! The rest of ‘em are just “knock-offs” but I STILL adore them. ;)

  8. One word: JEALOUS! Sounds like y’all had a fabulous time and love the ole country sayings. I can’t remember any off hand (blame the lack of coffee) but gotta love that old southern genteel way.

  9. Well, cut my legs off and call me shorty! Sounds like a might fine time had by all! As for Mast General, I LOVE that place!! I’ve signed up for their sale emails titled “Behind the Counter.” I would definitely recommend it.

  10. I don’t have any great saying to add, but that book sounds like a keeper. I’m off to update my Amazon wish list, LOL.

    I guess I’m the only one here who doesn’t like chocolate? Did they have a chicken flavored drink I could substitute? I love chicken, LOL.

  11. Your title is the best; I think I’ve just found myself a new favorite saying.

  12. Sipping chocolate? Hehe – that brings to mind an old Vicar of Dibley episode where the lead character actually dives head first into a chocolate fountain!

    Sounds like a fabulous day! And I look forward to more country wisdom in your blog posts (and FB and SHF ;)

  13. This post really made me LOL. Butter my butt and call me a biscuit? ! Hahahaha.
    And your idea of a perfect day sounds like my idea of a perfect day….though…sniff, sniff….there was no mention of a good cup o joe. :) But the sipping chocolate DOES help!

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