Waivers Are Making Me Waver

Do waivers make you nervous?  I had no idea I had a phobia of waivers until this week, when I’ve had to sign a BUNCH of them for H-T’s manatee trip.  Yep, this is the big week, and obviously that means time to sign away H-T’s life so that no diverone gets ((((shudder)))) sued or something.  They need waivers for his travel, waivers for his scuba dives, waivers for his snorkeling, waivers for his medical treatment, and back-up waivers just in case the first set didn’t cover something like a dolphin randomly jumping into his speedboat, knocking him from his seat and against the cup holder, giving him a concussion and a permanent beer-can-shaped ring on his forehead. 

As if I weren’t nervous enough sending my 12 year old off on a trip 11 hours away, with people I barely know….let’s throw in some legal waivers which detail every possible scenario H-T might encounter during his first adventure away from home!! Here is an actual paragraph from one of the waivers they sent me today:

“Hypoxia, hypothermia and drowning are also a danger when diving.  Hyperbaric injuries require treatment in a recompression chamber. Diving trips for fun, training and/or certification may be conducted at locations remote from a recompression chamber facility. It could take long time to reach a chamber facility, and I still choose to proceed with my diving activities.”

I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure that, as I mom, I have cause to panic if I don’t even understand the injury OR the treatment my darling son is subject to.  And checking the box in front of this statement just makes me feel neglectful.  It’s like they want you to chicken out, and refuse to put your child through the unspeakable torture of that LONG drive to the recompression chamber thingy. 

I’ve had a hundred second thoughts as I’ve read through these legal papers this week.  I can’t believe I was dumb enough to ever agree to this.  H-T is scheduled to leave on Thursday, and I would almost rather brave his disappointment than risk getting him “recompressed.”  I keep getting visual images of them poking holes in him like a balloon and rolling him up from the bottom to make sure they get all the air out.

I’m gonna need lots of good thoughts and prayers this week, friends, if I’m going to push through my fears and actually go through with this exercise in parental torment.   I’m thinking of having them sign a waiver that says if I have to sign one more waiver, they are going to have to monetarily compensate me for all anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications I consume during the full time period of the trip. 

They may make very little profit on this excursion.

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