Dog Days of Summer: Part Deux

Ladies and gentlemen…take your seats behind the center stage so that you won’t miss one single minute of today’s entertaining introduction to the dog of all dogs, the dog of no tricks and only half the normal amount of brain cells, the dog of legends (at least in our neighborhood).  It is time to meet….Squat.


Squat came to us through another homeschooling family in our town who had found an abandoned young dog, but lived in a rented house that didn’t allow pets.  We had been planning on getting another dog for Uber’s upcoming birthday, but when we heard about a little guy who had already been through a tough time and needed a home, we rushed in to be the Dog Rescue Rangers.  We had no idea what we were getting into.  Some dogs are abandoned because the owners are too poor or too lazy to take care of them.  Some, on the other hand, are abandoned because their owners are scared of them.  This may have been the case with Squat.  I might should have taken a hint when the lady who brought him out to our car and closed the door went skipping back down her sidewalk.  But I didn’t. 

And off we drove.

Uber was elated beyond measure with his new dog, and gave him his new name on drive home.  If you ask him, he will tell you he has no idea why he gave him the name “Squat”, it was just something that came to him – – like the dog. If you ask me, I will tell you that he is named for how many actual brain cells are intact- – Squat! 

We were worried that he wouldn’t take to us right away, but we were unprepared for how strongly and quickly he bonded.  By the time R-T came home from work, the little guy had staked out his domain, and barked at this “intruder” for a full twenty minutes.  You can imagine how well that went over with R-T. 

Other than a tense couple of weeks acclimating him to Frisky, and visa versa, and the normal difficulties with house training, though, things went pretty well.  Then, comfortable with his new home, and his new family, Squat began letting his guard down and “being himself”.  That’s when the fun began. . .

Our first introduction to Squat’s quirks was after having left him alone in the house for the first time.  Apparently, Squat gets a wee bit nervous without us around, and he had torn up the living room mini-blinds trying to watch out the window for our return.  But what was the most unusual, was that when we came back, he began having what can only be described as a “fit.”  He grabbed the nearest shoe, and began wailing, moaning, whining, and some combination of all of these at the same time, while running around from room to room with the shoe still in tow.  He also somehow managed to turn his doggie body into the shape of a perfect “U” as he ran.  We were laughing so hard that I’m still trying to get the pee stains out of the living room carpet. 

We wondered if this was a one-time occurrence…but we didn’t have to wonder long.  We discovered that Squat would repeat this performance every time we left home, and every time he came in the house after being outside for a while.  It stills happens.  To this day.  In fact, we leave shoes near the door, so that he won’t have to go looking for one when it is time to start his episodes (and he will wait to start them until he actually gets a shoe in his mouth!!) Now granted, this is a performance that you actually have to see to believe, and if I weren’t so “doggone” busy today, I would record it for you, but trust me…it has gotten incredible jaw dropping reviews from anyone who has been fortunate enough to see it in action.  I PROMISE to get some video up this week so that you can partake in the weirdness that is our lovable abandoned mutt. 

I could also tell you about the way he licks the carpet in one spot obsessively for 20 or 30 minutes, but that would be overkill, right?  You believe me when I tell you we have a “quirky” dog, don’t you?  Don’t you??  Oh, just wait till I get that video up…..


2 Responses

  1. that’s hilarious! We have a crazy dog too…if you want to try to stop the crazy behaviour, try taking Squat for a nice (long) walk when you get home. Not just playing in the yard, but just wear him out. It works wonders for our mentally challenged lab! 😉

  2. Oh, we have worn him out beyond measure with long walks, and guess what the first thing he does when he comes back to the house?? Yep…grabs a shoe and starts his routine. This dog is a lost cause, I’m telling you. But…we love him. 🙂

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