How Do You Translate Wacky?

I’m still following Teach42’s November series on ’30 Days To Becoming A Better Blogger’, and one of his suggestions this week was to create a tool that let’s people easily translate your blog. 

Translate my blog??  Into what??  I’ve been running through several different scenarios in my mind in which a person from another country and culture happens upon my Topsy-Techie blog.

#1 – – A rice farmer in Korea

A single rice farmer travels six miles by foot to visit the only other rice farmer in his region to have a computer with an internet connection.  In hopes to make ends meet on his farm for he and his eight children, he goes searching for a cheap backhoe online.  Search results being what they are these days, he happens upon my Snips & Snails & Puppy Dog Tails post.  Now, sadly for our rice farmer, he cannot easily translate my page.  If he could, he would discover that we here in America must use backhoes to clean the clutter off of our dining room tables before we can eat the rice that he has so graciously grown.  He would not be able to appreciate the humbleness with which I complained about my small two bedroom house with its computer for each member of the family.  Therefore, he cannot sympathize with me in my travails.

#2 – – A product development specialist in Sweden

Annika in Sweden has risen to the top of her development field by inventing cell phone accessories that will make people more beautiful.  She is online searching for information about creating a charger for her devices, when she lands in Topsy-Techieland via my post “It’s Not Personal, Sonny, it’s just business.”  Not able to translate the page, she is able only to view the picture of my fictitious strangulation by laptop charger, and believes that she has stumbled into a kinky new American fetish.  Feeling that she has possibly missed out on something in her hedonistic explorations, she quickly leaves my page in search of the nearest charger and totally missed out on my brilliant idea for a universal charger which could have landed Annika into the Swedish Forbes top 100 list.

#3 – – A twelve year old geek in Chile

Sitting alone in the west wing of his families villa, he is bored and lonely as usual.  Having been brought up primarily by his governess, or institutriz, and his computer, he has learned three different computer languages and can now hack into almost any credit card company in America, but sadly has no friends.  He has heard of a wonderful role playing game called GURPS that is played in many nations and languages, and longs to find someone his father could buy for him to play GURPS with.  This ingenious 12-year-old chances upon my “I Knew I Would Regret Those Star-Trek Onesies” post, and although his English is a little shaky, he gets the gist that these two boys in the picture are playing GURPS.  Sadly, since he is unable to easily translate my blog, and find my contact information, he will never know that – – depending on the day – – these two boys might be available for quite a bargain. 

So, having thought it through, I am 100% convinced that people throughout the world deserve to be able to read my blog.  Thanks to Mr. Dembo’s suggestion, I have now included a simple translation tool on my sidebar. 

translation tool

Just doing my part to bring the global village a little closer to reality…


5 Responses

  1. That’s a funny post. Now, I’m going to go back and read those posts you mentioned. 🙂

  2. Do you think that rice farmer wants some goats? Maybe I should try this translation thing.

  3. You are a great writer. Love it. Thank you for making me laugh!

  4. That’s so hilarious! Now, of course you’ve peaked my interest and I’m off to dive into your hilarious archives to see what else you’ve got for me to laugh at.

    I guess it’s a good idea to have a translation tool on your blog.

    The website that I got a lot of stuff on my blog at was entirely in Portuguese. I speak Spanish fairly decently and I thought they were, you know, interchangeable, but not so much. I manged, but it was a BEAR.

  5. OMG – now I’m going to have to get a translation tool, too, aren’t I? I mean, if I’m going to keep up with “Her Royal Techiness”.

    I can only imagine what your poor rice farmer would think if he stumbled on my “Fish Orgy” post 😉

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