I loved this meme over at Obi-Mom Kenobi’s blog a couple of weeks back, and I’ve been meaning to get around to posting it. In the craziness of this week, a meme is about all I can hardly “eke out”, so hear goes…
1. Extreme pettiness. The year was 1982. Middle school. State cheerleading finals. (Yes, and no, I do not still fit in the outfit, much to hubby’s dismay) It was our squad against theirs. We needed something to nudge us over the edge. So I snuck in their rooms and poured grape kool-aid into the other team’s shampoo bottles. They won anyway…Barney-colored hair and all.
2. Extreme learning curve. I’m pretty sure I was meant to live in NYC, or one of those great cities where public transportation is the norm. I failed drivers ed. And I had two accidents before I was 17 – – one of which totaled my car. Plus, I’m night blind. Me and learning to drive? Not the best combo.
3. Extreme pain. If you have never given birth, please stop reading now, because I’m about to scare the bejesus out of you. Having a C-Section with Uber was the single-most awful experience of my life. I had a 32-hour labor with H-T. WAY preferable to that stupid c-section. I do NOT like surgery, and will avoid it at ALL costs.
4. Extreme stupidity. My best friend growing up had beautiful, flawless, olive-tone skin. When your complexion proves that your ancestry is obviously from somewhere north of the north pole, you should never befriend a girl with beautiful olive-tone skin. Because she will tell you that Wesson oil makes the best tanning oil. And you will believe her. Because you are 15. And she is a goddess. And then you will have to be taken to the hospital for second degree burns. And then you will spend most of your 30’s checking every mole for signs of growth or discoloration. Not good.
5. Extreme danger. My hubby loves to explore the unknown. We have always taken the road or path less traveled. So, it wasn’t unusual for us and our 2 and 4 year olds to be heading out hiking the mountainous treks on a weekend. What was askew was my hubby taking off ahead of us, and leaving me to navigate a three foot wide track of land with a sheer cliff below. By myself. With a 2 and 4 year old. Closest I’ve ever come to death. AND divorce. In the same day.
6. Extremely low self esteem. I was a child of divorce. And that meant that my dad wasn’t around much. So of course, I followed every textbook prediction and looked for affirmation from boys in my teens. Which led me to “go steady” with a really atrocious string of young men. Not a winner in the lot. Thank God I graduated high school and somehow broke the cycle. My first post-high-school beau was R-T. The epitome of the perfect guy. I got very, very lucky.
7. Extreme grudges. My dad’s and my relationship was rocky throughout my 20’s. He was always struggling with drug and alcohol addiction, and I was always struggling with expecting him to just be “my dad.” So we had a bad falling out after a particularly frustrating episode on his part and a particularly stressful episode on mine, and stopped speaking. A few months later my dad took his life. I never got to tell him how much I love him. I ALWAYS forgive now. ALWAYS.
8. Extreme isolation. The early years of homeschooling were quite a learning curve. Hubby was working a LOT. I was home a LOT. I was dealing with one kiddo with a neurological disorder, and one with more energy than a nuclear plant. I never asked for help, or sought out support. I just delved deeper and deeper into a slow depression. Finally, I realized I needed a part-time job. Presto-change-o. Happy Topsy again.
9. Extreme naiveté. We were young. We were starry-eyed. We were broke. So we bought an 85-year-old fixer upper. 10 years later, we are still fixing. Constantly. And with no sign of relief in the near future. We were idiots.
10. Extreme belatedness. I should have started this blog years ago. I missed out. On having somewhere to spill my secrets. On finding the “funny” in everything. On meeting you great people. This blog has been a blessing in so many, many ways. Thanks for sharing it with me, everyone.