Consider Yourself Warned, Moms

For many of you who have been following me for a while, you may already be aware of this, however it is completely new to me.  Why someone hasn’t given me a head’s up on this before now, I’m not quite sure.  It certainly would have been the compassionate thing to do.  But instead, everyone has simply let me find this out the REALLY HARD WAY.  No one thought enough of me to fill me in on the fact that…

I am the mother of two teenagers!!!!

For the past year or two, I have gone about my life blissfully unaware of this fact.  But in the last month, it has become all too clear.

Uber, for instance, who as a general rule is a VERY laid-back young man with a soft-spoken demeanor and a heart of putty, has recently turned into an emotional roller coaster of drama, defensiveness, and diva-tude – – especially in regards to his girlfriend (aka “soulmate”).  The Venus flytrap, a well known carnivorous plant

Have you ever seen a documentary about those weird carnivorous plants in the rain forest that sit there so peacefully and beautifully, and then some insect lands on them unawares and WHAMMO – – bug soup??!!  Well, I’ve experienced that phenomenon up close and personal by happening to drop the slightest of negative opinions about a recent action of said girlfriend within earshot of Uber.  WHAMMO!  – – Mom soup!!

But the real metamorphosis has taken place in my youngest spawn.  Dearest H-T, who has always been eager to please, slow to anger, and cuddly as heck, has morphed into this smart-alecky, know-it-all whose main goal in life is to push each and every one of my buttons.  In fact, I dare say his ability to go to sleep at night would be direly affected if he couldn’t look back with pride on his ability to turn me into a crazed demon at some point in the day. 

Have some advice for him?  Be ready for the snickers that will ensue.  Some words of wisdom?  Prepare to get not just an eye-roll, but a full on sneer of disgust.  Actually make the suggestion that he has fallen short in some manner?  Be on the lookout for a  lovely door-slamming, curse-mumbling display. 

Yes.  I know.  I’m wallowing in a bit of self-pity today.  I guess it is because up till now I thought I had successfully snuck by the line where they checked your “mom of teenager” credentials. I had “opted out” of the whole teenage drama-thing.

Why does life ALWAYS have to catch up with you???

So THIS is my good deed for the day.  Have a young man or woman around the house who is edging nearer to those lovely teen years? Unless your skin is much thicker than mine, go ahead and stock up on some titanium full body armor. 

Consider yourself warned.

17 Responses

  1. I just about started crying when my nine-year-old called me a ‘geek’ this summer, heaven only knows what his teen years will be like!
    I’m buying stock in titanium armor, as well as some of the actual armor…
    Thanks for the heads-up!

  2. Learn to remove doors from hinges !! I could take most it, after many deep breathes and counting to 20. But the door slamming, WAS NOT HAPPENING !!!

  3. Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge – I’m sure YOU got a little uptight too when someone insulted R-T during YOUR “lover years”!!

  4. I can only wear up to mail! (ok, lame WoW joke)

    I still think sending all teens to a remote island till they’re ready to act like humans again is a great idea 😛

  5. Having been there, done that with a daughter who is now 24, I will say that *eventually* you get them back. Stay tough, mom, it doesn’t last long!

    BTW,I’m getting ready to go through it all again. My youngest is 10 and starting to get the hormones! I hope I can handle it all again, now that I’m 10 years older!

  6. You really are trying to frighten me aren’t you? I have enough issues to deal with without thinking of the T word. hahahhahahahahaha 🙂

  7. SAT – I’m afraid I probably would have taken that one as a compliment (at least around this house!!) 😉

    Jana – Haven’t done the “off the hinges” thing yet, but I AM considering weather stripping the door frame so that it doesn’t give that satisfying “slam” sound!!

    Uber – I did tell it to the judge…and he told me to just suck it up. So I’m TRYING!! ❤

    Okiron – DANG, I am really out of the loop with my WoW references…message me and explain, please!! 😉

    SoCalLynn – Well, at least by now you have figured out the best places to keep the hooch for the really bad days!

    Joy – Hey, just keep those safety scissors hidden and all will be well!! 😉

  8. I can completely identify. I have a 19 year old son. The years of 15 – 18 were not fun at all. I can say just like so many people it does get better. I actually have my son back. He is once again respectful, helpful, and a joy to be around. Hang in there.

  9. From a Homeschool Dad, I only have one bit of advise — PRAY.

  10. Sorry it’s been tough. I don’t even want to think about teenage years. My oldest son has had a teenage attitude since he was about 8. My almost 10 year old daughter has already starting breaking into spontaneous tears. I’m hoping that maybe there won’t be a drastic change. But I’m probably delusional.

  11. Well for us it was those years of 13 to 15 that nearly killed him . . . I mean me . . . I mean us. Anyway, by 16 he was back to being the well behaved son I know and love . . . if a little lazy . . . oh well . . . there’s worse things he can be. I guess. Maybe not. Anyway . . . good luck. I’d definitely stock up on the armor. You’re going to need it.

  12. […] Consider Yourself Warned, Moms […]

  13. Just give ’em space. After they slam the door and have some time to think about it, they almost always realize you were right, even if they don’t admit it.

  14. Diane – – thanks for the encouragement. It was REALLY appreciated. REALLY!!

    EclecticSaddlebag – – Are you telling me I can pray away the teenage years? Excuse me while I get out my prayer shawl!!!

    Kristen – – I think if they hit it early then they probably finish it early, right?? Here’s hoping!!

    Mom1 – – yeah, but last time I checked, Baby Boy only had a friend-who-was-a-girl-but-not-a-girlfriend. Just wait. You could have that teenager back before you know if it that status happens to change!

    Laura – – space is sounding really good right about now, actually… 😉

    • LOL ,,, Pray our kids teen years away? … Sorry no … LOL But it can help us all through these years. Remember God does not need our prayers, but we do and that is when transformation happens.

      I struggle with the teen years myself. As a man I would rather have respect than actually hear “I Love You” and the teen outburst correspond to me as a lack of respect. So I pray.

  15. oh no no no. I have completely opted out of the teen stuff. I was a terrible teen and I do not want to have one of me! oh dear. please say it won’t happen! I have a while to go, ds is “only” 7. But it’s coming! poop.

  16. I’m right there with you! Only I haven’t yet had to deal with the whole girlfriend thing. Not because he doesn’t want one – he just hasn’t found the “right” girl yet. Heaven help me when he does! All I can say is that at this point I’m really, *really* happy that he is at least better than I was at that age 😉

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