Run, R-T, Run!!!

Have you ever felt trapped in a particular situation in your life?  Trapped by circumstances beyond your control?  Control-freak that I am, I’ll admit that doesn’t happen to me much, but once in a while, I wake up and realize my back is against the wall, and there isn’t a single crappin’ thing I can do about it. 

I’m in one of those situations right now with our house.  Our beloved 94-year-old house.  The house that we bought because it was in the city, which we love, and had a big fenced in yard, which we love.  But it is also the house that is beginning to fall down around us, and which we have no money to repair. 

So what do YOU do when you are trapped?  Do you drink?  Do you curse?  Do you pray?  I guess I do a little of each.  But of course, then I am still trapped.

So I take it out on the people I love.  Like I did today on poor Resistant-Techie.  He had been gone on one of his hikes in the mountains this afternoon, which gave me time to enjoy the sunshine out in the backyard. 

Enjoying the sunshine in the backyard, though, means walking through the sun porch which is basically slanting downward from settling, over the deck, which has actual boards that have come loose from their moorings and are waving hello in the air, down the steps which are like a splinter factory, past the basement door which has nearly rotted in. 

By the time I got to my favorite chair in the backyard I couldn’t enjoy one single minute of the gorgeous weather; I just sat their stewing in my own juices until R-T got home and I could finally boil over.

R-T, (who, by the way, had nearly been knocked unconscious on his hike by a wayward laurel limb) came in dazed and totally unprepared for my graphic comparison of our home of ten years to the cells at Guantanamo.  Wolf hunting

But that’s what I do when I feel trapped.  I react a bit like a wolf caught in a steel vice.  I growl.  And flail around.  And nearly gnaw my own leg off in the process.  It isn’t pretty.

But then R-T brings me a dark chocolate truffle left over from my birthday festivities, and for a few minutes I can ignore the chain around my neck and just chill.  At least until I throw away the wrapper and see the crack underneath the window sill.

Sigh. Grrrrrrr.

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9 Responses

  1. A cyber toast of Twisted Zen to my flustered friend. 🙂

  2. Oh, I’m sending you a little extra cyber-chocolate. It sounds like you need it.

    Oh, and to answer your question, I lash out at loved ones too. What else am I supposed to do? LOL

  3. PK – thanks for the Zen!

    Mom1 – thanks for the cyber-chocolate too!

  4. AWw what a rough saturday you (well and he;) had!! I would have been fit to be tied. Chocolate has a way of calming me down too.

    And house woes here too…well our rental unit that the tentants FLOODED with 6 inches of water…now we have $$$$ …in repairs….plus no tenants so no rent money!! @#$$# oops sorry this was your vent. 😉

    Is R-T handy at all? maybe he and the boys can start becoming mr fixits?? Hang in there. Let me know if you want to go to that Bead place downtown in Dec too! I LOVE that kind of thing.

  5. I understand about house woes, I really do. I think we need to get together and go on a hike. I’m pretty sure I still have your email.

  6. I understand about the house. Honest, I only like old houses. Unfortunately I am only moderately handy and more than moderately strapped. How about a cyber truffle?

  7. Wow…. I do feel your pain. the house we had before the one I posted about was built in 1885 – and we did not have the money to fix it either. We just caulked windows and cracks… but my advice is don’t look at the BIG picture. Take one weekend a month and just do something small… like replace the rotting door. Even if you don’t know how to do something – youtube can teach you! That’s how we made it through the whole house remodel youtube and this old house videos(well and ALOT of DARK chocolate 🙂 ghiradelli dark choc chips are wonderful for a mood lift)

    • Thanks everyone for all the cyber-empathy AND the cyber-chocolate. I’m feeling better already!

  8. Why don’t you deliberately and calmly make a plan for moving into a younger house??? Every day for a month you can eat one(or two) of the Ghirardelli collection pieces that I got you for Christmas and write out a sentence or two about preparing for the new house. People do it every day, with or without money. I reared you to be the person who can not find peace out in the yard because of what is back in the house. I also reared you to find a way to get what you need (not just what you want). And you NEED a better house.

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