Drunk With Vista Power

My dear hubby will tell you that he doesn’t get all that much say-so in his life.  At this stage of his life cycle, he is rather on the low end of the power totem-pole.  Somewhat tied into the demands of family life, church life, and running a homeless shelter, his days and hours are pretty much mapped out for him.  Get up, go to work, come home, do family things, write a blog, go to bed, and start all over again.  Even his weekend “down time” is usually filled with diaconate classes, yard work, his teaching and serving duties at our church, and often speaking at other churches.  There just isn’t a lot of wiggle room for R-T to pick and choose what he would like to do or not to do these days.

Until now.  From the first boot-up of his shiny new Windows Vista computer, R-T knew that something was afoot.  The first thing that popped up on the screen was a question – – aimed directly at the computer’s new owner….”Would you like to register your new computer?”  Wow…a choice!  Would he like to or wouldn’t he?  Being unused to such preferences, he had to think about it awhile.  Yes.  Yes he would like to register.

And the options didn’t stop there.  In a matter of only about ten minutes, R-T got to pick his screen resolution, his background, a screen saver, and even a virus protection plan. I could swear the normal slump in his posture became noticeably straighter. 

Before long, R-T realized that Vista was a system that didn’t do anything without asking first.  Every time he opened a new program, an unfamiliar website, or tried to complete a download, he would get a pop-up screen which said, “Windows needs your permission to continue.”  What???  Someone was asking him for PERMISSION before they do something??  I brought R-T a cold glass of water, noticing he looked pale and faint.

This is a man who struggles to get his rescue mission staff members to even call him before they leave work early or don’t come in at all.  A father of two adolescent know-it-alls who think it is fine to head down to the neighbor’s house without informing him of their whereabouts.  A husband of a wife who remembers to tell him she is taking her church youth group to the movies as the movie is about to begin.  R-T just doesn’t always get the respect and deference he needs or deserves.  Until now.

Microsoft is really missing their advertising boat.  You remember that guy from the Viagra commercials who was suddenly all confidence and smiles because of his new prescription?  Microsoft needs to snatch up that idea and run with it!    My hubby would make a terrific commercial…he would walk into the rescue mission, shoulders back, chest forward, a new spring in his step, and everyone from his staff to his host of volunteers would be trying to figure out what is different about him.  New haircut?  No.  Measurable weight loss?  No.  So what is it about their Operations Director that makes him look so confident…so in charge…so virile?? 

“Sir,” says the mission cook to R-T outside his office, “I think we have a mouse problem.  I’d like to set up some traps in the walk-in, and around the kitchen area.”

R-T looks at him for a moment, and rubs his chin thoughtfully.  “You have my permission to continue.”

Who needs Viagra when you have Vista?

Do All These People Have Windows Vista??? 
Think maybe all these people use Viagra Vista?

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Are You Wearing Spiderman Socks ??? !!!

Uber has a variety of online friends that he IM’s with or chat’s over Skype via microphone.  He was sharing with me one of his conversations this week with an online acquaintance. Uber was lamenting to him about the transfer rate of a specific MMORPG game download.  After pouring his heart out to this guy about the trials and tribulations of online gaming, he was disappointed with the response from the other side of the computer.  “Sorry, Man.  I don’t speak ‘video game’.”

It happens all the time to us.  Just when we think someone finally “gets” us and what we’re about at the Techie household, they will give one of us that look that means – – just exactly which asteroid did you ride in on??  Sigh.  It can be so discouraging to feel like the fat chick forced to guest-star on Desperate Housewives (and by fat I mean size 8, of course).  Or like the girl-turned-guy who has to go on Oprah to explain why he is the only man alive not freaking out that there is going to be a human being expelled from his body in the near future. These are people who turn heads and draw stares because of who they are.  And we empathize.

I’ve had a few folks over the years write us off just for being homeschoolers.  Now don’t get me wrong…a few homeschoolers have probably justified the stereotype over the years.  But most of us aren’t fanatical polygamous Mormon’s who close ourselves off from the world and choose to marry off our preteens to Viagra candidates.  Most of us are just parents that for some reason or other have chosen to educate our children at home because we believe it is in their best interest. 

Uber and H-T have it the toughest, though.  They are at that delightful age where even wearing the wrong socks canspiderman_socks be considered grounds for raised eyebrows and not-so-covert stares and whispers.   Fortunately for Uber, he has surrounded himself with an equally tech-obsessed group of compadres who think it is perfectly normal to talk for two hours on the phone about the possibility of a new generation of Pokemon being released.  He doesn’t usually hit the ridicule wall until he makes the mistaken attempt to strike up conversation with someone outside his circle.  That’s when he will get shanghied with some “out there” question such as who his pick for the Superbowl is, and he will answer something like “I dunno.  The Atlanta Braves seem pretty good this year.” 

H-T is pretty much oblivious to his geek status.  He lives in the world of dinosaurs, Jedi Masters, and comic book super heroes.   He only comes to the real world long enough to wolf down some food, brush his teeth, and take his vitamins.  The fact that people in the grocery store look with disdain at his new “Indiana Jones” fedora makes very little matter to him.  He is comfortable in his own skin, or as he would say, “at one with the Force.”  Unless you have news for him about the next Jurassic Park installment, he can take you or leave you.  Ridicule is lost on him.  Lucky booger.

The hard fact of life is that people aren’t always gonna get us.  We’re a little nerdy, a little left of center, a little quirky.  We probably even deserve some of the strange looks that come our way.  But I comfort myself that though we may not be conventional, there is always someone even more peculiar to help take the pressure off.  Thank goodness for the pregnant men of the world.  Long may they reign!