Gettin’ Me A Free Airplane Manual…yes I am!

Well, it is only three more days until Uber and I are leavin’ on a jet plane….for the city of lights.  Even with two free plane tickets, though, the trip is gonna cost us.  Food, attractions, our reputation as law-abiding citizens.  So, I’ve been trying to come up with some creative ways to cut corners around the Techie household. 

I’m cutting coupons…yes I am.  Even printing some, too – – you know, from those Mommy/Frugal Homekeeper/Working Diva-type coupon sites.  But with the cost of my printer’s ink, lately, I’m not exactly sure I’m breaking even on those. 

I’m buying generic…you bet your sweet pa-toot I am.  We have this lovely store that invaded our town a little over a year ago called Aldi.  And almost everything in it is generically-labeled, but quality goods.  It’s a super-duper-cost-cutting kinda’ store, cause you bag your own groceries, return your own carts, and it only accepts cash or debit cards.  My mom would rather pull her left eyelid over her head than shop at a store like this one, but as for me – – I’m never too proud to BMOB (bring my own bags).

I’m buying local…yessirree bob I am.  Heading out early on a Saturday morning to the tailgate market has become something of a “me time” getaway.  Besides, its cheaper than the overpriced grocery stores, its environmentally friendly, and it supports local farming.  And its a little known fact that produce actually tastes better when the farmer hands it to you him or herself.

I’m cooking more and eating out less…yes, sadly, I am.  Don’t get me wrong.  I LOVE to cook.  It is an all-time favorite activity.  But who has the time anymore???  Nevertheless, all that fresh produce from the tailgate market ain’t gonna throw itself in a pan, so I’m putting some sweat equity into this cutting-corners business.

I’m visiting freebies sites….shhh, I am, but you won’t tell, will you?  I swore I would never be one of those “freebies” people who spend hours online filling out surveys for free samples of laundry detergent.  On the other hand, there are some pretty cool offers out there if you can catch ’em…especially for homeschoolers.  I came across this great list of free offerings categorized by subject area.  And this really popular site with a homeschool freebie of the day.  The Old Schoolhouse magazine has gotten in on the freebies as well by putting out a list of freebie offers from homeschool vendors.  These seem like really useful lists and links.

But then, there are the well-meaning homeschool bloggers who find a freebie, and highlight it in a post as if they have found the missing link between homeschool conventions and jean skirts.  I’m not going to name names here, folks, so catch your breath now.  That’s right, head between your legs, it will pass soon.  But you know who you are. 

That free “science kit” that includes a magnet, a rubber band, and a 3X5 card?  Please don’t bother sending us to the site. That’s just Susie-homeschooler who recently found 432 spare magnets in the couch she was throwing out, and decided to dispose of them responsibly.  Or the free ebook you discovered highlighting the reasons why people should homeschool.  Choir?  Present and accounted for, sir.  No need to preach here.  Then there was this honest-to-god link to a wonderful set of free aircraft manuals for homeschoolers.  Grey’s Anatomy fan or not, we were all shouting “SERIOUSLY??” at our laptops over that one.  Unless you are homeschooling terrorists, just exactly how much help is that gonna be to the average homeschooler?

I’m cutting corners, yes I am.  But I’ll be darned if I’m gonna order me up an aircraft manual, just because its free.  Now if my plane does happen to get hijacked on the way to Vegas, and a terrorist orders me to land the thing by myself, I will SO be coming back to apologize and to highly recommend the free aircraft manuals to all homeschool travelers.  I’m never one to deny it when I’m wrong…no I’m not.

Sure would love to hear YOUR tips for cutting corners these days…out with ’em folks!

The Next Jacques Cousteau ??

I had promised to post some pics of H-T’s marine adventure to Florida, and we finally got the CD, so I’m following through (for once)… how many points do I get???

  Scuba Diving in Weeki Wachee

 

This was their underwater signal to each other that everything was okey-dokey

 

 

 

 

  With his group leader

 

 

H-T’s underwater version of “Home Alone”

 

 

 

 

 

   Swimming near some eel grass…H-T told me that this stuff traps dirt in it, and helps purify the water…cool, huh?

Up close and personal with a manatee

 

 

 

 

 

 

  They roll over to get their bellies scratched

Two Tickets to Vegas, Baby

Ok, so an important update on our free plane ticket conundrum……we’re goin’ to Vegas!!  Well, I should clear that up.  Two of us are going to Vegas.  The more we discussed our possible family vacation, the more Uber began to ponder the unfairness of little brother’s upcoming swimming with the manatees trip.  I mean, he has no interest in swimming with manatees (unless they happen to have swallowed a wi-fi transmitter), but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve his own vacation, he asserts.  And, easily guilt-ridden parents that we are, his reasoning began to sound pretty darn sensible. 

So where would a newly-14-year-old computer geek wanna go with his parent?  I suggested several options…how about Yosemite?  I figured he and his dad could have a male bonding experience among nature at its finest.  Uber tried to look enthusiastic, but I could see his techie little heart quivering at the thought of being so wholly disconnected from all things electronic.  Other options came up, such as visiting Seattle (who knew Microsoft hasn’t created a theme park yet – – Bummer!).  We tossed around the idea of heading to a video game convention, but unfortunately they are all located in places like Nowheresville, Indiana this year.  Double bummer.  So we looked through our trusty 10-year-old family travel guide, and came to the page about Las Vegas.  I could almost swear I saw double cherries come up in both eyes as Uber read the descriptions of the lights, sounds, and non-stop technotronics of the Vegas Strip.   

“What do they mean ‘The Fun Never Stops’?”  You mean you get to stay up all night and gamble and watch live shows??!!”  Well—yes–technically.  “Oh, Dad, isn’t this gonna be cool??!!”  I saw my very intelligent husband looking to me for guidance.  Was I actually going to let him take my 14-year-old impressionable homeschooled son to Sin City for a man’s dream-vacation-come-true?  Not for all the chest hair on Wayne Newton. 

So, Uber and I are taking our first ever trip to Vegas sometime this fall.  It will be a blast, I’m sure, although perhaps not quite as scintillating as the trip he pictured with his dad.  After all, my idea of gambling is sinking $5.00 at the VFW on Bingo Ladies Night. But, I have ordered the kids guide to Vegas, and have been checking out family friendly Vegas spots on the web.  There is actually a video game mega-arcade in Vegas that was designed by Steven Spielberg and the Dreamworks folks.  I’m hoping we are able to hit this high-spot toward the end of our vacation, or else we might not ever see a single other neon inch of the city.   

I will drag Uber to a show or two, of course, because I am girlie like that, but I will try to make it up to him by ensuring that at least one of them features either scantily clad gals or dancing Wii remotes.  Whoa–wouldn’t I be mom of the year if I could find a scantily clad gal dancing with a Wii remote??!! And if the saying is true that “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”, then we might even sneak in a tug on a slot machine handle.  But I guarantee that this will be a trip to remember.  I mean how many guys get to look back and remember their incredible teenage Las Vegas trip with their mothers??  Well, I mean those guys that aren’t currently in therapy, of course. 

p.s.  Anybody have any Vegas tips for us newbies??  Please share them below!!

And You Thought The Matrix Was Just A Movie

My mom is on the mend.  She has been at the mercy of me, the physical therapist, and Oprah for over a month now, so she is probably more than happy to be getting closer to recovery.  Her doctor tells her that it won’t be many more weeks before she is putting her full weight on her foot.

In the meantime, Timeworn-Techie has been very productive.  She has read several great books (she highly recommends The Thirteenth Tale, a novel by Diane Setterfield to other invalids, and heck, readers in general).  She has also done some writing. She is currently working on a book about aging – – something she knows nothing about personally, of course, but has empathy for.  And… she has been taking phone calls.  Lots and lots of phone calls.  Not sure what it is about being down that makes people call you.  A captive audience, perhaps?  I guess they know you aren’t able to use that age-old excuse of “wish I could talk but I’ve gotta go (fill in blank here)”.  When you’re incapacitated, people know you don’t “gotta go anywhere”.  You are there for their listening pleasure.  Period. 

So T-T has caught up on the life and times of family, friends, acquaintances, and many folks she probably thought were already dead.  Surprise!  They weren’t dead – – just waiting until she couldn’t avoid them any longer.  One such distant acquaintance called her the other day.  He is a distant cousin once or twice removed, and she has only met him a couple of times, but he felt the strong need to call and check on her and tell her about this amazing opportunity she just shouldn’t pass up. 

It seems that Cuz-Techie (it seems to run in even the most distant of genes) had gotten involved in this wonderful online travel booking program.  Better than Expedia, easier than Travelocity, able to leap small buildings in a single mouse click.  A monkey could use it, he claimed.  And your reserved room would always, always have clean sheets.  (Thank God, because the last hotel I went to had excrement and vomit smeared down both sides.  I could hardly sleep.)  This “Perfect Selection Travel” program had let him sign on as an agent, and all he had to do was build a team of agents and representatives under him, then he could sit back and rake in scads of money and bonuses.  In fact, the money was rolling in by the boatloads, he said, and sitting on her arse as she was, he knew that T-T would not want to miss out on this ultimate opportunity.

Sound familiar?  Yep, the pyramid scheme has gone high-tech.  Oh, sorry.  They don’t call them pyramids, anymore.  It is a “Matrix” strategy.  Forget selling dietary supplements and cosmetics to your fellow employees at work, this is SO much better.  This is something people REALLY need.  Everyone needs to travel, right?  And everyone has tons of vague relationships with people they don’t mind pissing off by asking them to join their “team of travel agents.”  So what’s to lose?  What could go wrong? 

Well here’s the funny part.  (And Cuz-Techie will miss the irony here), but T-T still calls me to her house to change the clock on her computer, and to find out why she can’t hear her the sounds that tells her she has email anymore (she accidentally hit the mute button with her elbow).  T-T doesn’t know her hard drive from her modem, and she has been on DSL for over a year now, and is still overcome with awe that people can call her while she is on the computer.  “How does the phone line know to split in two like that??” 

This is the woman that would be an online travel representative…working her magical world wide web powers to refer people to this wonderful program, and of course to build her own team of representatives under her, so she too could rake in the boatloads of cold hard cash and prizes.  I can’t blame the guy for trying.  T-T is in a highly vulnerable position for pyramid schemes, telemarketers, and long lost relatives at the moment.  Thank goodness she is a highly educated woman that is way too smart to fall for such a blatant ruse…       Darn! There’s the phone. 

“Hello?  Mom?  What do you mean you have a wonderful opportunity for me….”